least amount of damage?...

Well so I went to my counsellor to vent my frustrations,  and to hopefully find a better way of coping with my relationship difficulties...   We discussed inviting my spouse into counselling sessions but I cautioned this would likely be the beginning of the end.   We discussed whether this is something I am ready for.   I know my family circumstances are difficult and make it such that separation or divorce could through things into a downward spiral,  especially for my son that has Autism,  that does not cope well with most changes...   So if this potentially is the direction we may be heading how can we do so with the least amount of damage for the children.   Again  I am feeling guilty for wanting more for myself emotionally than I have ever gotten from this relationship,  or will likely ever get from this relationship....   And to think that any decision I make may affect my children's emotional well being breaks my heart.    I also believe it would be foolish for me to continue to remain in an unhealthy relationship just for the kids sake...because I do believe they are impacted negatively by this as well...Just by the tension alone.        I know there are problems when my own children point out how much my spouse and I argue.   I also believe the best thing my mother ever did for me and my sister was to get out of her unhealthy relationship with my father....but that is 34 years of hindsight!!!   I know I didn't feel that way at the time.       I am posting an article of one of the temporary ways I am thinking of as a means of making this work with the least amount of damage...at least until our son that has Autism is placed with a HomeShare family.      We go together to further discuss our marriage,  whats working,  whats not,  and the possibility of separating after the long weekend.  This is going to seem like an awefully long two weeks....and though I have agreed to give this over to God...part of me wants to hang on with dear life....but thats the fear talking...     I know what I don't want to happen,  is to wait until all the kids are grown,  and then discover...we never should have stayed together....   I hear of and see this all the time,  and we all deserve better than this.   Here's one temporary fix,  my friend even has an apartment for rent so it could be doable....
or then again...to keep costs down there's the room w kitchenette and washroom downstairs....but I really think that would not really feel like a separation,  as we already seemingly are two ships that pass in the night...    I know I want answers,  want action whatever that means....not really satisfied with the status quo...
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/family-and-relationships/mom-says-hello-dad-says-goodbye/article1261919/