two way street..

So…I am having some issues of late and have decided I need to head back to my counsellor…problem is my counsellor is on vacation for a couple of weeks.  Along this journey…I have been seeking spiritual,  physical and emotional balance…and I am definitely having difficulty in the emotional arena…as it directly is impacted by relationships.    I really feel at peace about who I am,  and who I am becoming…but like I’ve mentioned before seem to keep getting sucked back into some kind of vortex…of patterns that don’t serve anyone very well.   I probably am overreacting...to being treated like a child of sorts...because really isn't this what I am aiming for by trying my damnest to have a child like heart...

I do not really understand why so many people I am coming into contact with more recently seems to think that the answer to all of lifes problems is great sex.   There really has to be more to relationships than this…and my issue over the last 20 years or so has been seeking intimacy where I really feel there has been very little.   Intimacy with God is one thing…Intimacy with a human being is something entirely different and it takes two…so I totally know I am somehow to blame for how things are…

What can I do to make things better…do I still want to... or even think it is possible…What is it that I really need…I sort of got lost for the longest time meeting everyone elses needs…this sort of got buried…Thankfully resurrected..

Too many questions…   I am no longer content to just accept things the way they are because I deserve better,  we all do for that matter.