Kick in the Butt Power...

So...tonite was session two with my personal trainer.   I told her today I felt she could make a fortune if she could just bottle some of this stuff....the pure motivation.    I would love to be able to kick my own butt this good....but regardless of how hard I try.....     I tend to be pretty easy on myself in comparison.   I could not believe the amount I was sweating in just a short 45 minute session...    And how much I ache.     I thought I had done so good in the last 2 weeks maintaining what I had been taught...  but the truth is....I was going through the motions....but definately not pushing myself to that point.  
So what needs to change to help me get there on my own for the sessions I know I won't have my trainer to kick butt.   Though I may joke and fantasize about the possibility of "bottling"   this tonic of pure motivation...I know that this is just not going to happen.  
I have a plan of Action...which I believe will improve both my attitude around this. and ...my approach . 
I have to start taking the medication - or supplements my Dr. has recommended...though I fear they will make me feel ill as they have in the past...I think that this may have been because I was not physically active.   My Dr. prescribed B12 and pallafer due to low haemoglobin and iron.  This could help increase my energy level.     I also know I have to be more committed to the right diet.   I am not getting near the protein I need for the level of physical activity I am currently doing.   I am currently working out in total 6 nights a week,  with one night off.  
3 of these days are runs between 5 km and 8 km -so about 30 minutes to 50 minutes of cardio
3 of these days are a combination of cardio,  free weights and ab exercises  about 45 minutes to an hour combined
on one day I double up with my run,  my Pilates.   1 hour pilates in total.  plus 30- 50 min run. 
What I have not been doing strictly is adhereing to the diet which brought me so far,  and replenishing the proteins after working out consistently.  

I also have switched teams at work,  and I am finding it increasingly difficult to be able to committ to taking the breaks I need.  These were imperitive to adhereing to the diet.   When I was on the Children's Services team,   team members would commit together to ensure we got the breaks we needed.   I am now finding that though we definately have our own style of team work  and support....that no one seems to take breaks in adult services....alot more Case Managers seem to work as Mobile Case Managers...which means they aren't in the office very much...when they aren't completing assessments,  they are completing paperwork from home offices.   I am too "new" a case Manager to allow myself to do this 100%. plus I can only work from home when I know my children will be in school...as they definately know when I am home...and "find me".  
So...what do I need to do...
Commit to myself to take the breaks I need at work to be able to maintain my diet. 
Commit to myself to ensure the right foods are in the house so I am not tempted to nibble on the kiddies snacks. 
Commit to myself now that my Nanny is only working 3 days a week....to not allow myself to get into the habit of catering to the "dining wants of my family"  and prepare "healthier meals " for everyone  that fit with my diet instead.  
I am to eat 6-7 times a day about 200-300 calories at a time.  
I should be eating about 2/3 protein and 1/3 carbs in my diet...and ofcourse lots of fruit and vegetables.  
I always have been a naysayer for meal supplements,  however I am thinking that this may be the easiest way to get some of the nutritional needs met quickly.  
Tonight I had an awesome Mango protein shake post work out ....and it just rocked my world.   I added lots of frozen mango....and mmmmmm  heavenly.  
We took my measurements tonight which I know are much better than I could have imagined a year ago this time....my shinking breasts....to my chagrin are now just 37 inches,  my waist  33 inches and I don't remember the other measurements.    I will keep you posted regarding the progress.   I am not that concerned about weight at present.   I currently weigh 137 lbs.    I am more concerned with toning my mid section which I know is the hardest feat to acheive....especially 4 babies later.    ( I haven't seen so many stretch marks in one place at any given time...even after my babies births....) Please send me some recipes and recommendations on how to get rid of these "very attractive"  battle scars.  
So I also forgot one very important ingredient to my success.    I totally believe I am highly motivated by the excitement and enthusiasm around me and the support and encouragement I am and have received from friends family and colleagues.    Yes my personal trainer is amazing....but you all are my cheering section  and I thank you and invite you along to continue to cheer on my success.   You can be the power behind my own butt kickin...   keep in mind....I am kickin my butt in the very kindest way.    You have to be "Cruel to be kind"